No I didn’t pee in the Thames… although that might make a good blog. Hmmm…

A very strange thing happened to me in London recently. I happened to glance into the Thames as I was crossing it on a bridge, can’t remember which bridge, and there, a detached loo seat floated right underneath me!

floatingseat

aaaaand a close up:

close up

is this a sign from god?

where did it come from?

what does it mean?

I visited the London Aquarium a couple of years ago and looked at a display they had of strange objects found in the river Thames, including £300 cash in a money clip! unlucky! I don’t remember seeing a toilet seat, although I suppose it isn’t the strangest thing to see floating down a river. I can’t help wondering where it originated? how far it had traveled? I wish it could have told me its story… maybe this could be the subject of a children’s book.

Anyway, that’s the strange toilet related thing that happened to me this week.

Hello again, welcome to the Ochreworks lavatorial facilities:

Oh wow! its like being inside Mr. Blobby! The Ocreworks is a relatively new and very pleasant bar/restaurant/mini venue in Dalston. The decor is highly imaginative and unusual throughout the place (great duck themed artwork in the bar) and the bogs are no exception.

The pink theme is continued into the cublicles, which are plainer, but smart and stylish, and although you can’t really see it in the photo there is a towel dispenser! hooray! no stupid noisy hand dryers!

And check it out, this is the one differentiation between the ladies and gents:

Ah! a lovely pink kiss on the door! Apologies for photo quality, I’d filled my bladder with a few (very reasonably priced) Peronis in preparation for this visit, and didn’t realise my camera was on some kind of manual-blur-anti-focus setting which I hadn’t realised existed.

So, generally a great blog in a lovely bar (manned by very lovely barstaff too by the way!) and an extra point for having a peg on the back of the door. Always a plus I find for keeping your bag/coat/handbag dog from getting grubby. Or if you liked you could completely remove your trousers and pants, hang them up out of harms way and pee nude from the waist down.. whatever floats one’s boat..

Thank you!

http://www.ochreworks.co.uk/

The Ladies loos on the ground floor of the London Science Museum are disappointingly un-sciency. I was hoping for some kind of NASA approved space-age bum-improving self-cleaning wonder-bog, but alas. They are more like the bogs you might have had in your school science dept. at best.

The highlight is, again, the Dyson hand-dryer, which doesn’t seem quite as impressive in these surroundings. I have also come across this contraption so frequently at this point, that I am beginning to see him as rather the slut of the toilet world. Bring back the humble towel dispenser!


The colour scheme is pleasant and inoffensive and I do somewhat like the schooly vibe, especially the retro wooden doors with a ‘no smoking’ sign on every single one! I half expected a man with a lab coat and a neck beard to appear, confiscate our cigarettes and hand out detentions to those of us not in school uniform.

Seriously. DO NOT smoke in here. Or no more science for you!

Seriously. DO NOT smoke in here. Or no more science for you!

I often wonder if anyone really looks at the exhibitions in the V&A, because the restaurant, the gift shop and the toilets are AMAZING. That was a little shallow of me, they do have some great stuff in there, especially the old musical instruments. But honestly I could happily eat all my meals in the restaurant, equip myself for anything in the shop, live in the toilets, and never ever have to leave the V&A.
The toilets are vast, and a delightful shade of buttercup yellow (these are the basement ones, I’m pretty sure there are some others, but they were closing. I’ll be back though). They have the aforementioned bloody brilliant Dyson hand-dryers, and enough mirrors to satisfy even Mr. Vain himself.

Yes!

Yes!

There is a really cool kind of sink-bar along the middle of the room with mirrors starting at neck height, so that you can romantically share a sink with someone, yet never see their face.

The toilets are clean and well kept, despite the enormous number of cubicles, they smell nice and are just very satisfying.

Thank you dead royals!