This attractive yet distracted Lady is welcoming you to the Bernard Shaw bogs. Come on in…

And here inside is her lively alter-ego, ready to observe you in quiet excitement as you go about your toilet business.

I love the dubious cocktail of artistic bathroom styles going on in the Bernard Shaw Ladies. You have the old school dark wood and stained glass, massive professional graffiti, twee flowery tiles and shitloads of amateur biro graffiti all over the top of it!

Rubber/sanitary protection machine, very handy, and clearly stealable giant toilet rolls! Though I wouldn’t steal from the Bernard Shaw as I like the place and it isn’t a rip off, I only use my five finger discount in very disappointing and/or ludicrously overpriced places.

Above is some proof of the rich variety of custom the Bernard Shaw receives. A Proust quote alongside ‘Spice Love’, the filthy ‘Would you like to come inside me??’, ‘Go Wild’ (why not?) and the enterprising ‘Aidy Lady’ who has left her (or his..) tag on every cubicle!

So, I conclude that the Bernard Shaw bogs are well worth a visit, in fact the whole place is well worth visiting. A lovely setting for a quiet early evening pint, or 10 loud pints and a bit of a dance if you like, and when you go to break the seal you can read a wealth of drunken ramblings on your cubicle door.