The Ladies loos on the ground floor of the London Science Museum are disappointingly un-sciency. I was hoping for some kind of NASA approved space-age bum-improving self-cleaning wonder-bog, but alas. They are more like the bogs you might have had in your school science dept. at best.

The highlight is, again, the Dyson hand-dryer, which doesn’t seem quite as impressive in these surroundings. I have also come across this contraption so frequently at this point, that I am beginning to see him as rather the slut of the toilet world. Bring back the humble towel dispenser!


The colour scheme is pleasant and inoffensive and I do somewhat like the schooly vibe, especially the retro wooden doors with a ‘no smoking’ sign on every single one! I half expected a man with a lab coat and a neck beard to appear, confiscate our cigarettes and hand out detentions to those of us not in school uniform.

Seriously. DO NOT smoke in here. Or no more science for you!

Seriously. DO NOT smoke in here. Or no more science for you!

I often wonder if anyone really looks at the exhibitions in the V&A, because the restaurant, the gift shop and the toilets are AMAZING. That was a little shallow of me, they do have some great stuff in there, especially the old musical instruments. But honestly I could happily eat all my meals in the restaurant, equip myself for anything in the shop, live in the toilets, and never ever have to leave the V&A.
The toilets are vast, and a delightful shade of buttercup yellow (these are the basement ones, I’m pretty sure there are some others, but they were closing. I’ll be back though). They have the aforementioned bloody brilliant Dyson hand-dryers, and enough mirrors to satisfy even Mr. Vain himself.

Yes!

Yes!

There is a really cool kind of sink-bar along the middle of the room with mirrors starting at neck height, so that you can romantically share a sink with someone, yet never see their face.

The toilets are clean and well kept, despite the enormous number of cubicles, they smell nice and are just very satisfying.

Thank you dead royals!

I’m a bit dissapointed that they have recently changed the toilet seats in Solas. I think it’s for the best but I only wish I had photographed them earlier.. I’ll explain: The toilet seats in Solas used to clash in the most dramatic of ways with every other aspect of the decor. As you can see from the photos, the ladie’s room has a kind of warm reddy purpley romantic rosy creamy kind of thing going on. The toilet seats were blue, yellow, flowery and grossly twee. It was a brilliant example of toilet decor confusion and I shall mourn deeply those bog seats, wherever they may now be.. most likely in a tramp’s box of treasures.

So, minus fantastically clashing toilet apparel, what do the bogs at Solas have to offer? Well, the sinks are really cool, rustic and interesting, reminiscant of a caveman’s porridge bowls, and the mirror is nice and big. There is a sanitary protection/rubber machine: bloody expensive but occasionally life saving. The doors with the big printed roses on the are classy and cool and the lighting is ace, check it out:

Solas also holds host to one of the deadliest modern toilet phenomena of our time: the Dyson hand-dryer!!!! Behold:

I’ve come across these babies a few times now, and I am deeply impressed. You see, I’ve never been a hand-dryer fan. If no other drying equipment is available, I’d much sooner use my clothes or even hair. I hate the noisiness, ugliness and sheer crapness of hand-dryers. They take ages, and mostly just seem to vibrate the water on your hands rather than rid you of it. I also don’t really like disposable handtowels, because they are really wasteful, and many people seem to have no sense of proportion when given disposable things for free. What I really like is those proper old school (they even had them at my school) pull down looping towel things. The ones that are properly bolted to the wall – so no freebies – and are made of actual real absorbant towel material. That was a bad description. I hope you know the ones I mean.. Anyway, failing those practical yet elusive beauties, the dyson thing is brillant! you put your hands in wet and (slowly) lift them out dry! and you can watch the strong air make the skin on your hands tremble with delight.

So, well done Solas. Your toilets are lovely. (and your fries are really good too)